Comedian Ian Karmel talks about growing up fat, being terrified of doctors as a 420-pound man, getting healthier and losing 200 pounds.
I was a fat kid. I remember going in to get my blood sugar read at the age of 10 and having a doctor say, “You’re going to be diabetic. It’s just a matter of when.”
When you’re a little fat kid and you jump in the pool, you become aware that you’re different than everyone else. So we have this one thing that we can do when we go swimming to try to throw everyone off the scent and it’s ridiculous: We throw on a T-shirt and we think, “There, now no one will know that we’re fat.”
Being fat defined so much of my life — from my experiences on airplanes to my romantic life, to my relationships with my friends and family. Even after losing 200 pounds, it will always be etched into my soul and my DNA. You never stop being a fat kid.
Terrified of doctors
You are so acutely aware when you’re fat that every time you go to the doctor, it’s only going to be bad news. And no matter what affliction you go into the doctor with, they’re going to also bring up your weight.
I have this joke I tell on stage, but it’s based in reality: You could walk into a doctor’s office with a samurai sword sticking out of your torso and before the doctor gets to the sword, they’re going to say, “You really need to lose some weight.”
The terrible thing about this, too, is the doctor is right. I was at an unhealthy weight. I had an unhealthy blood pressure. For a long time, my blood sugar was unhealthy.
If I were drinking or doing heroin in the same way that I was eating, people would have had an intervention. But people in my life were afraid to say something because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings.
So every time I went to the doctor, it was terrifying because someone is shattering the illusion that what you’re doing is sustainable, and that hurts. There was no good news, so it was easier for me to ignore it completely.
Health scare is wakeup call
In the summer of 2020, I thought I was having a heart attack. It turned out to be a terrible panic attack. I finally went to the doctor and my blood pressure was 200-something over 100-something.
It was horrifying. I wanted to stick my head in the sand, but I didn’t because I knew I could die from having a blood pressure that high. I got on medication and my blood pressure started creeping lower. I started developing healthier habits and going to the doctor more often. It started sucking less every single time I went.
For fat people who’ve been avoiding the doctor, I just want them to know: Even though it’s hard and it sucks, it’s also worth it. These are some of the best people who can actually help you.
Weight-loss success
I can’t be mad at the people in my life who didn’t say anything about my weight because ultimately the change had to come from me deciding that I’d had enough.
I lost 200 pounds by eating less, eating better and working out. I’ve kept most of it off since 2021.
I always plan ahead. I’m not hungry when I go to the grocery store. I get fruits, vegetables, cauliflower rice and lean proteins, and that’s what I’m going to have in my house. I precook my meals so they’re ready if I get home at 8 p.m. In the past, I would have ordered food and eaten 3,000 calories without even thinking about it.
I eat less because I’m eating whole, real foods, and those fill you up. When you’re eating cauliflower and a chicken breast, your brain is like, "Alright, we’re full."
I weigh myself regularly. The number on the scale has caused a lot of people terror and anxiety, but I don’t let it. I make it a part of my entire self-diagnostic routine.
When I have a craving, I go eat that thing. I’m not going to live the rest of my life without having a Reuben sandwich or a cupcake every now and then, but it’s a matter of being aware.
I walk 10,000 steps a day, no matter what. I go for a walk in the morning, in the evening and then just throughout the rest of the day, which adds up to 10,000 steps. That’s my baseline.
I try to go to the gym every day that I can. I’ve found out that working out feels good, which sucks. I hate telling people that the more you work out, the better it feels. It’s terrible news, but it actually true. Going to the gym feels better, eating better does feel better. All these clichés are true and it’s such a bummer.
Cautious about Ozempic
I feel incredibly bitter that weight-loss drugs didn’t come out six months sooner. Otherwise, it would have been a lot easier for me to lose that way.
I’m not against them. I would consider it, but at the same time losing weight through discipline with my diet, I have built tools for myself that are based in hard learned lessons and habits that I formed.
I don’t look down on anyone for taking any of those drugs. I would just hope they’re also examining their relationship to food outside of when they’re on Ozempic or Wegovy. Don’t put yourself in a position where you’re going to have to be reliant on a pharmaceutical for the rest of your life.
Message to other men
I was in that phase where I was rejecting myself first. To those men who are in that same place, who think that because they’re fat or whatever it is about them that makes them feel unworthy, find things that you like about yourself.
Don't reject yourself before you put yourself out there because you will close yourself off from really living. If you ask someone out and they say no, it hurts, it sucks, but you get up, you dust yourself off and you try again. Getting rejected by another person doesn't really hurt that bad — people are mostly pretty nice.
Let other people see the beautiful things in you. Don’t close that stuff off, because even if it’s not for everyone, it’s going to be for someone.